Crocheters Anonymous Enter Here

My name is Penelope and I am a crochet addict. Yes, it's true - as hard as it is to admit. My addiction started when my neighbor gave me some yarn and showed me how to make a granny square. The first one's ALWAYS free. After that, I couldn't stop myself.... looking for yarn sales, scouring thrift stores for hooks, dreaming of beautiful patterns with no mistakes. Now, I still find myself in quiet moments thinking about patterns, and my stash is growing faster than weeds in the garden. I am so ashamed. I tried knitting - the methadone of the needlework world - but it didn't satisfy those cravings. My hands kept yearning for a hook. I tried cold turkey, but my cat found a ball of yarn and started playing with it in front of me - taunting me, teasing me. I finally broke down and wrestled that ball of yarn from my kitty and started making a chain with my fingers. It was only a matter of time until my addiction was full-blown..... again. Only worse. My stash doubled. I started buying hooks on ebay. I even thought about finding fellow crocheters and opening a crochet den. But well-meaning friends stopped me.
So now I am in recovery. Yes, it's okay to crochet - at least that's what they say in my therapy group. They are all crocheters, too. My therapist suggests moderation. She's a knitter, though, and I'm not sure she understands my plight.

I have finally stumbled upon a solution. I will flaunt my addiction. I will become a crochet dealer. No more hiding! I will shamelessly "turn on" others to crochet. I will give them yarn and thread from my stash. After all, the first one is free.